Madam Trash Heap

The Trash heap has spoken!

Bastard Holywood Northern Bank!

I fucking hate Northern Bank Holywood branch!

What branch closes at 3.30pm? every other one shuts at 4 or 4.30pm

Bastard Holywood!....... Bastard Northern Bank!

Prologue

I'm now gonna be off for about a week, but if I'm near a computer i'll try and blog!
I'll be in Manchester this weekend and then lounging in my lounge suit for the rest of the week probably in the lounge, in fact that reminds me of the old Maori phrase "Ka timu te tai, ka pao te torea, ka ina te harakeke a Hine-kakai" (The oyster catcher swims when the tide is ebbing and the flax of Hine-kakai burns)

But we should remember "Mehema koe ka tuoho, meinga ki te maunga tetei" (If you should bow to greatness, let it be to a lofty mountain)

But i will throw up some random posts today.

For the ladies

What more could you ladies ask for? This man is the epitome of manliness!

Breast Pudding? Yes please!

As everyone is well aware, Japan is absolutely brimming with bizarre shit, particularly when it comes to porn. Tentacle rape, bestiality, people shitting on each other... They've got it all. So when I stumbled upon Bust Pudding on the web i knew Japan is the best place in the world!

I like the way the packages are set up, the girl on the right appears to be scowling at the girl on the left, as if jealous of her younger, perkier pudding breasts.

Panties

"Panties" is such a nice word, better than knickers!

I like these!

Two Loons

These two work upstairs, The Hoff and Katie

Belfast at night

Chaat Masala

So last night i went to the Waterfront Hall in Belfast to watch Chaat Masala, a sort of community play about a young Indian lad called Vir coming to Belfast to work in his uncles indian video shop, It show the trials and tribulation about him trying to fit in with the locals and also the already established indian locals,it has the usual stereotypes, it was performed by 30 community performers from across India, Sri Lanka, China, Ghana...and Belfast,

Now it was not too bad, it's what you would expect from community theatre the cast were all young and inexperienced but they did try their best and that's all you can expect, but what i did like was the fact it was a play about asian folk which as you know only get bantered about if it's a racism story or at the local kebab shop. So i say well done for doing something totally different and showing that Norn Ireland is becoming more multicultural and we should embrace it!

If anyone would like to embrace me, leave me a comment with your statistics! (but not you Gary!)

Hiccups!!!!!!!!!!!

I have the Hiccups!!!!!!!!

I haven't had them for years!.....is there any known cure!...... I'm just hoping i don't have them for days like those weird folk who have hiccups for days!

Sorry!

I'm sorry i haven't blogged in ages! but i have been so busy in work i haven't had a chance!

I'm still really busy and i feel guilty for not posting anything so i'm leaving u with this pic of a urinal from Laura and a link to some midgets from simon

Discovery Campus.

Hello,
Hope you all had a productive weekend like i did!

For anyone who does not know i work in the media (well try to any way) and this weekend i was at the Discovery Campus workshop which was held at BBC Blackstaff studios.

As good old TV turns more and more into a diverse interactive media playground, the non-fiction genre is doing likewise. It is sometimes hard to keep track of all the shapes and sizes that stories from the real world can come in today. A vibrant factual broadcasting market has emerged beyond the traditional alliance between factual filmmakers and public broadcasters.

During the symposium, we examined the relationship between news and documentaries. A large number of compelling, disturbing and provocative documentaries were shown

In case studies and panel discussions, leading international experts and filmmakers divulged their secrets and discussed their creative decisions. We got to ask filmmakers about their motivations and choices.

We also investigated contemporary political drama based on factual research ? so-called ?docu-drama?. There is a growing demand for provocative drama which brings to life subjects which are sometimes beyond the reach of traditional documentary techniques. Finally we looked at the growing difficulties in attracting younger audiences to both current affairs and documentary. And we ask whether the success of comedic factually based documentaries ? like Super Size Me, Mischief, The Yes Men, and Michael Moore?s films offer a way forward.

We had some great speakers like:
David Aukin Managing Director, Daybreak Andy Bichlbaum Filmmaker, , New York, USA
Michael Christoffersen Director/Producer, Team Productions, Copenhagen, Denmark
Hans Robert Eisenhauer Head of Thema, ZDF/ARTE, Mainz, Germany
Eamon Hardy Head of Independent Commissioning (CA), BBC, London, United Kingdom
Alan Hayling Editorial Director, Renegade Pictures UK, London, United Kingdom
Richard Klein Commissioning Editor, Documentaries, BBC, London, United Kingdom
Sean Langan Documentary Filmmaker, , London, United Kingdom
Angus Macqueen Head of Documentaries, Channel 4, London, United Kingdom
Stephen Segaller Director of News and Public Affairs Programming, Thirteen/WNET, New York, USA
Paul Watson Documentary Filmmaker, , Tonbridge, Kent, United Kingdom
Diane Weyermann Executive Vice President, Documentary Division, Participant Productions, Beverly Hills, USA

This is me giving my speech about my Blog to the audience.

Rosa has left the building!

Well today My colleague and part time fun monkey Rosa is leaving the company and moving on to pastures new! (Well movin on anyway)

She's not a bad sort, she's quite funny (looking) and is very entertaining! and on a slow day it's good fun to throw things at her!
So we'll miss her strange laugh and eccentric ways! (once in a while she actually does some work)

Good luck Rosa!



P.s She is also looking for a bloke, she's not fussy and anything will do!
She can cook, entertain and she does yoga so is quite flexible, she also looks good with a fake mustache!
She likes long walks on the beach and puppies! She also likes Holywood for some weird reason!

(She should never be allowed to sing, she is tone-def!)

Lunch with Laura and also Kara!

Добрый день! (Dobry den'!) That's Good day in russian for my russian readers, and yes there are many!

I met the lovely Laura (from the comment page, although i do know Laura from before and she's not some randomer from my blog)(although if you are good looking and read my blog and are a fit looking lass feel free to contact me) and Kara today for lunch at the Yard, It was a civil affair with tales of yore and salutations all around, We had a delightful lunch and my libation was delightful!

But the most interesting thing was that as we were wondering down the street after lunch Kara pointed out a car made of grass! It was the best thing i have ever seen in Holywood! (cause Holywood sucks!)

It looked a bit like the one in the pic but smaller with no cow but it was an Innocent smoothie van!

MOT ✔ Car Tax ✔

Had an busy old morning, The G-mobile passed the MOT got my car road tax and applied for my driving license which had expired in 2004! but had to go to work in the afternoon! Bleurgh!

Also i will be voting tonight!

Holy Moly!

I spend a lot of time in the car, which in turn means I'm hungry and have to eat cold sandwiches, cold soup, cold meat and other foods that really should be heated up!
But now i can with this new microwave that plugs into your cigarette lighter!

The world’s first truly portable microwave makes it easy to have hot food and drink at work, at play and on the go. Compact, rugged and easy to tote, the WaveBox brings cooking power where you want it most! in the car!

The guy in the pic is carrying the microwave to his car to warm up some tea for the lads at the building site.

Neighbours!

Everybody loves good neighbours, well my neighbour laura who lives about 20 miles from me has just told me:
Little Britain's Lou and Andy will be appearing in Neighbours.
You may know the characters Toadie, Steph and Pepper and the location of the Scarlet Bar, but if you don't, the news will mean little to you.

Gary's Journey.

Gary is now back in the building by the way, He has done his work and is commenting! He only ever does one day's work a week. Please feel free to comment back to him.

That's him over there.

I forgot to mention that on my way to work today i saw 3 men in a digger, a front bumper and punctured tyre!

What is cool?

In case you hadn't noticed, over the last 5 years 'Cool' has become a very ubiquitous, easy-to-own commodity. Let's face it, everyone is 'cool' these days. It's also the most overused word in the western world, a sure sign of its bastardization. Cool is easy to market, sell and to certain degrees achieve, with the right look, stance, sound, you are ready-made cool - just check out how many Sienna Millers there are walking down the street or how many Beyoncès there are in the charts and you get the point. This is not a good thing. It's making us all the same - so when will we get tired of looking at each other?

Getting inspired in today's culture is no easy task. It's hard to be fresh when fresh has become a commodity, when happiness has become fashionshaped, and fashion has shifted from niche pursuit to easy-access shorthand for cool. Like pulling up your hoodie to get an instant toughness boost or feeling 10% funkier because you've got new shoes on. The old signifiers of youth style and culture - music, and particularly, fashion? have become easy-access.

In short, everyone has become fashion-able. Not fashionable, you note, just able to grab hold of this week's trends with a lunchtime purchase of some cheap white trainers

Recognizing true creativity when you see it, nourishing it and encouraging it to grow, is the only way to beat the frightening forces of things like the pop idol machine, high street fashion factories and lookalike magazines and models. Do your own thing, keep reaching up for those high ideas and never look over your shoulder; because that's what being fierce and being creative, is truly all about.

Gary has left the building.

Many of you come to read my blog and to enjoy the wit of Gary and his many aliases on my comment page, but i am sorry to say he is actually doing some work and therefore cannot comment.

He will be back when he finishes work, so in the meantime please enjoy the picture of him.

Dead sheep!

I saw another dead sheep in a field this morning on the way to work!

Is it another omen?!

(That's not the actual dead sheep, but looks pretty close to it)

Relaxing weekend.

Bonjour!

Well the weekend was a relaxing one, I got my haircut on sat morning (not as navy seal like Gary) and then met Simon for a nice lunch at Starbuck's on Lisburn rd, after lunch we walked Barnams and got an Ice-cream then to Marks & Spencer Simply food store where Simon got some groceries, We then drove to Curry's so Simon could look at washing machines and Asda Living which has a new store in Yorkgate it has no food only housey type stuff.

On Sunday i just chilled! So a nice weekend, no going out as I'm broke and trying a new direction in life which means less partying and more contemplation!

Also i feel i should get paid for all the product placement on my blog! If a rapper talks about Bentley or Gucci usually they get some free stuff, the least i should get is a Pizza vending machine!

Money.

Well today in attempts to save money as I'm going broke, I managed to change my phone tariff from 35 squid for 250 free mins to now where i pay 28 squid for 2600 free mins! Sweet!

Also got my phone insurance down and changed my bank account!

So all in all a good money saving day!

Grapple

This is just weird!

What's the point of a grape flavored apple? If i want an apple i'll eat an apple, if i want a grape i'll eat a grape.

Although i am intrigued! Wonder if my local green grocer has these?

Pizza for everyone!

Your on a night out, all tanked up on 7up's and Vimto and you stagger to the local all night eaterie, You squint at the menu, Don't fancy a kebab or chips but the pizza looks nice but you have to wait for about half an hour for it to be ready!

Now something like that could ruin a chaps night, You don't want to be waiting ages for a pizza! You want it now!

Well now you don't have to wait! You can go to these vending machines which dish out pizzas! How bloody cool is that! Everyone one knows the best stuff comes out of vending machines! Chocolate, fizzy drink, soiled underwear, crisps!

The first of its kind, a pizza vending machine at last. The Wonderpizza of Italy is a kiosk which holds, cooks and serves 9” whole pizza pies in just 2 minutes. 3 different pizzas available in each machine at any time. So there’s lotsa pizza for everyone, everywhere, every time