Ladies and Gentlemen

Bonjour! J'mapple un sandwich du fromage!

Moment of french madness there! but anyway! This could be my last post before the New Year, so lets reflect on the past year.

Mine, not to bad, how was yours?!

So remember kids it's not the receiving it's the giving! Don't drink to much and feed the cat, and remember capital letters don't take too long.
So to my loyal fan base of 10, i love you all!

Happy Kwaanzaa and have a decent new year!

Quote

One of my favourite movies to quotes from is "The Lost Boys" I thought i would share:

.Are you freebasing, Michael? Inquiring minds want to know.

.Holy shit, it's the attack of Eddie Munster!

.If you try to stop us or vamp' out in any way, then I'll stake you without thinking twice about it.

.Death by stereo!

.Don't kill me, Mike. I'm basically a good kid.

.What, you don't like rice? Tell me Michael, how could a billion Chinese people be wrong?

.What's wrong with this picture? Theres no TV! Have you seen a TV Mike? I haven't seen a TV...do you know what it means when there's no TV?- no MTV.

.The bloodsucking Brady Bunch!

.My own brother a goddamn, shit-sucking vampire! Oh, you wait 'til mom finds out buddy.

Great Movie.

Not in the mood

Sorry I'm not in the mood to write anything of any substance.

So i have left you with a picture of Mr T wearing a sombrero, enjoy

Christmas do number 4!

I'm wrecked!

Last night was the Waddell Media affair! Held in the Europa (the most bombed hotel in europe), it was a lavish affair with salmon and some jelly goo as well as a chocolate fountain which i managed to dip the sleeve of my shirt in! (it done me well at the end of the night when i got peckish and sucked the sleeve for nourishment)

Music was supplied by a band called the Diesel Drinkers who were awesome! They played all the classic hits and really made the night, A big thumbs up!

All in all a good night, went home early cause i was wrecked!

Papa was a Rolling Stone

"Wherever he laid his hat was his home".

Listening to the Temptations and feelin the groove

Happy B'day Glo!

Saturday night me John (who has a rat in his kitchen) and the Simon attended Glo's B'day bash at the Potthouse, she is now 107 and the oldest woman in belfast! it was also Vikki's B'day a friend from work also at the Potthouse, so the Potthouse it was then (did i mention the Potthouse?) to cut a long story short it was a good night and we ate a kebab and then went to Simon's flat to watch X-factor!

Oh and the Potthouse was full of rugby people, they really are a bunch of wankers.

Christmas party number 3!

Yes, i do have a lot of parties this year and friday nights was the BBC all staff do!

Every year it gets worse and worse, or maybe I'm more cynical but it's just not the same as it was when i was a kid!!
The usual antics had by all, much fun and frolics, fights and old friends like i met my old friend the lovely Elaine! (who has the biggest cat in the world! now people who know me would expect an innuendo there, but really she does have a huge proper big cat!)

Met all my mates and went home at about 3am, I'm still feeling wrecked!

Photos to follow someday!

Shopping Penguin

Best thing ever!

Boring day

No News today, busy at work, was feeling ill last night so got an early night.

I'm at my desk eating my lunch which is really unhealthy, it's a cheese chip with beans, unhealthy but really tasty and I'm drinking diet coke, not for any diet purpose just because i prefer the taste of it.

Will be going to the 3rd of my xmas do's tonight in the BBC, so will update on Monday

Lovely Shower

When it comes to design I'm a big fan of clean lines, but once in a while i like quirky pieces.

I like their shower. Also a funky website

www.viteo.com

My numb tongue.

My tongue is numb from eating Strepsils Extra.

Just wanted to tell you that

Christmas Do number two!

Last night was the BBC Studio 8 Christmas party at Zio (I'm not gonna link to it as the food was really crap) I went straight after work and met the gang in the Globe and then over to the restaurant, for starters i had some sort of dry bruschetta which was shit, then some salmon that had been creamed on! and for dessert i had bannoffee pie which wasn't too bad, my friend laura had the tiramisu which we agree was really tiramispew!



Then we went to Bar Twelve for a few drinks and then home to bed!

Photos courtesy of Laura.

P.s on the way to bar twelve one of the ladies was caught short and had to take a pee on holy ground! i was quite shocked!

Not in the city!

(see! my title is a play on words, "Hot in the city" by Billy Idol)

Where i work is based outside the city of Belfast, now to many people that ain't gonna make much of a difference because in terms of cities Belfast is a one horse city! But i like it and I'm starting to miss it, Belfast was like Cheers (everybody knows your name) i miss wondering around during my lunch times, going into the city centre and wondering into the shops and saying hello, stopping for a chat with folk you meet on the street!

I miss the range of food you can get (sick of sandwiches) i miss doing lunch with my mates.



I know I'm only 5 miles away but i miss old Belfast.

The start of the Christmas Do's!

Jambo! (Swahili for hello) (and also rhymes with Rambo)!

Last night was the start of the Christmas dinners i have to attend because i need to spread myself around, so i attended the BBC NI Independents Christmas do in Morrisons bar! Not a bad night, went with a few colleagues from work and met lots of people i haven't seen in ages, including my old bosses Davy K and Michael from Clean Slate, not a bad night but there were loads of plates lying around full of jellies which are so bad after the 12th handful! I felt really ill after eating them and threw up around 3.30am and all that came out were jellies! not good for the neighbours garden! (made sure i puked over the fence into his garden cause he is a wanker)

So overall, a good night had by all!

The end.

Simon's Stalker!

What a strange title you may say, or you may say what a crazy bastard Gohir is! But either way what a crazy Saturday night it was!
Me and the Simon decided to go out on Saturday night and we had a dilemma to where we would start off with as we had to meet some ladies in the Potthouse later on in the night.

So we decided we start at the Bot and make our way toward the Potthouse frequenting many public houses on the way! So started in the Bot, no ladies in there,.... then the Parlour for one, no ladies in there,..... then the Fly , ladies yes, good looking? No!..... then Whites Tavern, ladies yes, goodlooking? some!..... but we decided to move on to the Whig where it was busy and where we stopped off for one, then about 12am we moved on to the Potthouse where we met my friends Glo, Carli and Lyndsey (they don't have any website, so i cant link to them, but they are good looking for those who want to know)

Well at this stage Simon and i were both merry, and some random bird came up to Simon in the Potthouse and said she knew him! she said she knew him from his myspace page and his Blog ! Man, she knew everything about him including all his family and the address of his Flickr website! Proper stalker material!
Readers I'm not ashamed to say i was afraid! she knew all about him! She was also not bad looking and i told Simon he should have tried it on, but he was a bit scared!

So anyway she buggered off somewhere (maybe to look at his website or to worship him at her shrine) so we stayed on and Simon met some bird from New Zealand (she was cute), but her fat ugly mate (who was fat and ugly) threw a spanner in the works, so he got no-where! Fat Ugly mates should not be allowed to have any say in who you snog! it should be made law!

So we went home, i got a kebab and Simon got chinese.

Panto Time!

Bonjour!

Last night i had a brilliant surprise from my friend Christine, she had got us tickets to see Peter Pan the panto at the Grand Opera House! Woohoo! i have not been to panto since i was in primary school and it was Jack in the beanstalk!

So anyway, me, Christine, Simon and Jill went to the panto and had a fantastic time shouting BOOOO! and "He's behind you" and other panto related shoutings! Then we went to the Garrick bar to meet the Inside Out Crew who were on their Xmas do, stayed there for 10 mins and went to the Apartment bar, then back to the Garrick and then to Thompson’s Garage nightclub!


Had a great night out and then went to the Kebab House where we got a spot of tiffin before retiring for the night!

There are pictures but on Simon's Site.

P.s Jill is going on a Christmas adventure to Australia for 3 weeks! so have a great time Jill and you have to send e-mails back!

Pa Pa Paa pick up a Penguin!

Jeez! i don't know what to write about today so i thought i would post a picture my friend Laura took while on holiday in South Africa.
She's at the beach called Boulders Bay in Cape Town and penguins wander around the beach! Apparantly your not allowed to touch them or feed them, but i say if your quick you could get a quick hug from one!

The cinema with Borat and Glo!

Salutations and look after your donkey.

So last night me and Glo (Glo’s real name is Gillian and is called Glo because…… sorry I can’t say why she is Glo) but anyway we went to the cinema last night to see…… Borat!
Let me first say that I am a HUGE Borat fan, as well as a fan to of all of Sacha’s characters, and my expectations for this movie were high.

Now let me say this, my expectations were not only blown away, but this is THE Borat movie every single fan has been dying to see. Rather than give a synopsis of the film, which I would not want to ruin the experience for you readers of my blog, I am going to talk about why I feel this is the best comedy that has come out in a long time!

The humor in this movie is not intended for everyone. Many people will find it offensive. This is one of the things I enjoyed most about this film. Comedy for me is not about being able to laugh just at someone or something, but to be able to laugh at yourself.
Borat pokes fun at gays, Jews, Christians, gypsies, bears, and about anything else you can possibly think of. But understanding that his comments are only intended to bring out the best, or worst, reactions from people is what makes it hilarious.


I nearly choked on my Nachos and cheese (which weren’t that good last night).I laughed so hard that I made myself sweat unnaturally like a fat man in sauna.
It was so funny, you have to love those crazy bastard Americans for being so gullible and daft. Why the frig would they believe half the stuff he said and done!

After the movie I kicked Glo out at her house and went to John’s house to listen to Miles Davis cause we is cool!

My Sandwich

Had a lovely sandwich for lunch, it was a crusty baguette with tuna, lettuce, buffalo mozzarella, sun-dried tomatoes and olives!
For libation i had Club Pomegranate and White Cranberry juice and a packet of Monster Munch , Flamin Hot crisps.

Delicious! I recommend it to anyone with taste.

P.s the picture of a sandwich has no relevance to my sandwich, but holy shit does it look good!

Little Short Dudes

Hello and welcome to another edition of the Blog they call Gohir!

I thought i would tell you what i would like for Christmas,
What i want is a small person! Now in some circles they may be called midgets or dwarfs or person of restricted growth but i like to call them little short dudes!

Now they have always intrigued me since a James Bond baddie had a little short chinese dude called "Nick Nack" who killed people, So i have decided if i ever won the National Lottery i would hire a midget butler preferably chinese and buy a huge house and make all these little tunnels running through it where my little butler can run through them when ever i need him!

So if i ever needed a sandwich he would be there with a silver tray and my cheese sandwich instantaneously! If i ever need anyone decapitated he would do it, shoelaces tied he's my man! How brilliant would that be?



Oh and i also love midget wrestling in Mexico!

A wee rant!

Belfast Bastard International Airport!

I had to leave a friend to the airport yesterday and their flight was delayed which was a Sleazy jet (Easy Jet) problem, but what got my goat (what a strange saying! i don't even have a goat!) was that at 6.30 most of the food places in the airport shut down!
The smoothie place shut! but the bird at the counter was quite fit!
Burger King had technical difficulties (their words not mine) so it didn't do anything apart from chicken! I wanted a Bean burger, didn't get one!
The little food court was shit so we got a sandwich, tried to get an apple but they were actually all old and rotten! bleurgh!
I was also told that Starbucks was shut on the other side of the gate!

This ain't good Belfast International Airport! you need to sort this shit out! Verdict: total crap food facilities!

Parents

Parents after a certain age god bless them are bonkers!
They do the weirdest shit and have no consideration for anyone! They start to develop strange quirks and can be really annoying!

My own dear mother who i love dearly is totally bonkers! she thinks i don't really have a job and gets me to do the weirdest crap around the house. For instance today i had to take her to the Doctors, which is no problem normally when she tells me in advance, but she only made the appointment yesterday and tells me last night at 10.00pm that i have to take her in the morning! I tried to explain to her that i have to work in the morning, but nope that don't matter to my mum! i had to take her!
We were there for an hour! so late for work!

Penguins

Now, many that know me will know i have a love for penguins! they are the coolest animal around and i also believe they can fly when no-one is looking! So that's why i am really excited about the new movie called Happy Feet which is about a penguin who can tap dance!

"Into the world of the Emperor Penguins, who find their soul mates through song, a penguin is born who cannot sing. But he can tap dance something fierce!"

I can't wait to see this movie as it looks brill, although i will have to take my nephew to see it so i don't look like a loser!

Anyway, what i've always wanted was a penguin of my own, a little penguin that would sleep at the foot of my bed and that i could pet and feed it penguin food, pity that i can't find a penguin anywhere! why can't you buy one? Does anyone know where i can get one from? answers on a postcard please?
I had a plan all set up to buy a big industrial freezer in the garden and put a cat flap in so the penguin could come in and out as it wants, and have a little paddling pool of it's own.
Then when i amassed a number of penguins i was going to train them to become my own personal army! A lean mean guerilla penguin fighting machine! How frickkin awesome would that be?!!

They would be trained in martial arts and weapons and wear bandanas on their heads! I would be unstoppable then!

So anyway that is my dream! if anyone knows where i can get any penguins please do not hesitate to call me.

Wanker drivers and Johnny Adair

I've just driven from hollywood, Co Down (not america) to go to the bank in Belfast and the amount of wanker drivers on the road! Holy shit! i nearly got hit twice by dicks in their jeeps! what the hell! can they not see me? I am i insignificant in the G-mobile! (my mate simon came up with the name).
Why can't folk just take a second to glance out their side window so they don't hit me!

Anyway, i watched the Johnny Adair programme last night on Channel Five, it was presented by Donal McKintyre,
Really good programme, didn't go into as much detail as i wanted to see but was good to see what he is up to now that he has been forced out of Belfast!
The most interesting thing was that the support he has in other countries like Germany! there was a mad woman who worships him and has a shrine to him in her living room! what's that all about?
She wasn't to bad looking either!
Background on Adair
Johnny Adair (nickname: Mad Dog) was the leader of the notorious "C Company" of the loyalist paramilitary organisation Ulster Freedom Fighters, a cover name of the Ulster Defence Association. Adair was expelled from the organisation in 2002 following a violent power struggle. Since 2003, he, his family and a number of supporters have been forced to leave Northern Ireland by other loyalists.

Who i am

My name is Gohir! (thought i would just mention that)

I work in the media world, (well the Northern Ireland media world) it's not a bad life, i get to meet some interesting folk and get to see a bit of the world. I've worked on some interesting tv programmes and some really shit ones!

I'm usually seen around Belfast wondering around the various dens of iniquity trying to get served at the bar!

My New Blog

Well! I have finally decided to let you into my life!

This is a new chapter and i want to share it with you! The crazy bastards of this world!