Monday, 24 November 2008

Awesome Things With Moustaches

Mustaches (or moustaches, if you wish) are all the rage these days, but only in an ironic way. I refuse to believe that hot chicks dig guys with staches unless they’ve had sex with their fathers and liked it. Now, ugly chicks I could totally understand, but no way in hell you’ll ever hear a hottie saying she wants to jump a dudes bones because of his facial hair.

That being said, mustaches are so freaking badass and I totally wish I could grow one without looking like a complete dick. Since I’m apparently facially follicly challenged, I spend an unhealthy amount of time admiring the inanimate objects that have sweeter mustaches than I could ever hope for.

Here are some of my fav Moustache things:

Anyone else ever think yellow No. 2 pencils are just way overrated? Fill that pencil box with a set of these classy mustache pencils featuring some of the most famous mustaches ever like Salvador Dali, Burt Reynolds, Clark Gable, and Jean “Django” Reinhardt.

Under normal circumstances, if you’re out drinking and spot a chick with a mustache it’s an instant turn-off (unless you’re some kinda’ weirdo), but if I ever saw a chick with a mustache pint glass, well, I’d just ask her where she got the awesome cup (Psst! She probably got it here!). If the conversation went any further, my wife wouldn’t be too happy.

As if Tom Selleck wasn’t awesome enough with a mustache of his own, could you imagine how effing berserk he’d be if brandished "stached weaponry? I’m almost positive that the universe would implode upon itself due to the sheer cosmic awesomeness.


Si said...

Please grow one! I would like to see what ya looked like with a moostache

Rufus said...

'Taches waxed tightly
Arsecheeks in nighties
Playing spin-the-bottle
Dressed as Lord of the Rings
These are a few of my favourite things

Office secretaries receiving wolf whistles
The Marquis de Sade
With a cat o' nine thistles
Punching Scotsmen until they go "jings!"
These are a few of my favourite things

reciting my poetry to Willy Drennan
Sixty-nine virgins
awaiting in heaven
Bleaching your eyes until it stings
These are a few of my favourite things.

Gohir said...

How i love your lyrical rhymes dear Rufus