Awesome Things With Moustaches

Mustaches (or moustaches, if you wish) are all the rage these days, but only in an ironic way. I refuse to believe that hot chicks dig guys with staches unless they’ve had sex with their fathers and liked it. Now, ugly chicks I could totally understand, but no way in hell you’ll ever hear a hottie saying she wants to jump a dudes bones because of his facial hair.

That being said, mustaches are so freaking badass and I totally wish I could grow one without looking like a complete dick. Since I’m apparently facially follicly challenged, I spend an unhealthy amount of time admiring the inanimate objects that have sweeter mustaches than I could ever hope for.

Here are some of my fav Moustache things:

Anyone else ever think yellow No. 2 pencils are just way overrated? Fill that pencil box with a set of these classy mustache pencils featuring some of the most famous mustaches ever like Salvador Dali, Burt Reynolds, Clark Gable, and Jean “Django” Reinhardt.



Under normal circumstances, if you’re out drinking and spot a chick with a mustache it’s an instant turn-off (unless you’re some kinda’ weirdo), but if I ever saw a chick with a mustache pint glass, well, I’d just ask her where she got the awesome cup (Psst! She probably got it here!). If the conversation went any further, my wife wouldn’t be too happy.


As if Tom Selleck wasn’t awesome enough with a mustache of his own, could you imagine how effing berserk he’d be if brandished "stached weaponry? I’m almost positive that the universe would implode upon itself due to the sheer cosmic awesomeness.

You Don't Know the Deliciousness of the Dark Side!

Mainly because the dark side's crispiness proves a much better surface to spread jam and butter. The toaster is $55 here, but that's a small price to pay for having a nutritious, evil breakfast each morning.

Toast not included but it's a small price to pay from brilliance, I am so getting one!

Bastard Gnomes!

If you are dealing with a gnome infestation like i am at the moment, those little bastards keep ripping out my Japanese Maple!, a gruesome trap like this one may be the only solution to the situation. The device is just like a traditional bear trap except, in this case, a watering can serves as “bait.”

Lets get those bastard Gnomes!

Monster Bed!

If I was a kid again I really wish my folks had got me a Bed like this instead of an old crappy normal boring one!

Vending Machine + Ice-Cream = Awesomeness

One of the loves of my life are weird vending machines!
Like come on a machine that's open 24 hours and vends anything!

This machine combines two of my loves; Vending machine + ice-cream = Awesomness!!

Massachusetts-based company, Moobella have devised a vending machine a bit larger than regular Pepsi and Coke vending machines which uses dry ingredents to aerate, flavor, mix and flash freeze a cup of caramel icecream with walnuts or vanilla with cookies and so on.

"Dry" refers to ingredients that can be transported and stored without the need of special trucks. The modular ingredents are stored in hygenic pouches.

The consumer has to feed money per scoop which will be set by the vendor and using the machine's large LCD touchscreen choose from 12 flavours and five mix ins (nuts, cookie crumbles etc). Fourty five seconds of waiting and the machine delivers a freshly made scoop.

Best thing ever!