Best Thing Ever!

This truly would be the best thing to ever have at a party!

This 8-lane set up, which you can rent not buy, gives a good idea of what is possible with their track parts.
This thing has beer-fueled parties (full of abundant bromance) written all over it.

For all you Wankers!

Handz Off Anti-Masturbatory Cream: Side Effects Include Blindness

If anti-masturbatory gum hasn’t done the trick for you, try a more direct approach with this Handz Off Cream. This special blend of coconut, buttermilk and vanilla bean will leave your junk silky smooth and it will fight your urges for up to 6 hours. Apply liberally and vigorously to affected areas.
Warning: Do not use handz off anti-masturbatory cream more than ten times per day.Side effects may include hairy palms and blindness. Should abnormal swelling occur, consult a hooker.

Because waiting for the bus should be fun!