Hello

My Favourite advert of the year!

Christmas!

Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas

Minimalism

I would like to live a minimalist lifestyle but I have too much crap!

Awesome Things With Moustaches

Mustaches (or moustaches, if you wish) are all the rage these days, but only in an ironic way. I refuse to believe that hot chicks dig guys with staches unless they’ve had sex with their fathers and liked it. Now, ugly chicks I could totally understand, but no way in hell you’ll ever hear a hottie saying she wants to jump a dudes bones because of his facial hair.

That being said, mustaches are so freaking badass and I totally wish I could grow one without looking like a complete dick. Since I’m apparently facially follicly challenged, I spend an unhealthy amount of time admiring the inanimate objects that have sweeter mustaches than I could ever hope for.

Here are some of my fav Moustache things:

Anyone else ever think yellow No. 2 pencils are just way overrated? Fill that pencil box with a set of these classy mustache pencils featuring some of the most famous mustaches ever like Salvador Dali, Burt Reynolds, Clark Gable, and Jean “Django” Reinhardt.



Under normal circumstances, if you’re out drinking and spot a chick with a mustache it’s an instant turn-off (unless you’re some kinda’ weirdo), but if I ever saw a chick with a mustache pint glass, well, I’d just ask her where she got the awesome cup (Psst! She probably got it here!). If the conversation went any further, my wife wouldn’t be too happy.


As if Tom Selleck wasn’t awesome enough with a mustache of his own, could you imagine how effing berserk he’d be if brandished "stached weaponry? I’m almost positive that the universe would implode upon itself due to the sheer cosmic awesomeness.

You Don't Know the Deliciousness of the Dark Side!

Mainly because the dark side's crispiness proves a much better surface to spread jam and butter. The toaster is $55 here, but that's a small price to pay for having a nutritious, evil breakfast each morning.

Toast not included but it's a small price to pay from brilliance, I am so getting one!

Bastard Gnomes!

If you are dealing with a gnome infestation like i am at the moment, those little bastards keep ripping out my Japanese Maple!, a gruesome trap like this one may be the only solution to the situation. The device is just like a traditional bear trap except, in this case, a watering can serves as “bait.”

Lets get those bastard Gnomes!

Monster Bed!

If I was a kid again I really wish my folks had got me a Bed like this instead of an old crappy normal boring one!

Vending Machine + Ice-Cream = Awesomeness

One of the loves of my life are weird vending machines!
Like come on a machine that's open 24 hours and vends anything!

This machine combines two of my loves; Vending machine + ice-cream = Awesomness!!

Massachusetts-based company, Moobella have devised a vending machine a bit larger than regular Pepsi and Coke vending machines which uses dry ingredents to aerate, flavor, mix and flash freeze a cup of caramel icecream with walnuts or vanilla with cookies and so on.

"Dry" refers to ingredients that can be transported and stored without the need of special trucks. The modular ingredents are stored in hygenic pouches.

The consumer has to feed money per scoop which will be set by the vendor and using the machine's large LCD touchscreen choose from 12 flavours and five mix ins (nuts, cookie crumbles etc). Fourty five seconds of waiting and the machine delivers a freshly made scoop.

Best thing ever!

Squirrel Kebab!

This story is wrong, now i like a good proper kebab but this ain't for me!
Squirrels are overrunning the countryside of Devon, England, so Chef Ed Chester decided to do something about those pesky critters: he’s making squirrel kebab!

Cook Ed Chester reckons squirrel meat is delicious and is also selling pates and fricassees made from the rodents.

He believes the spread of grey squirrels has damaged the countryside and it is a good idea to eat them to control their numbers.

It's not for me at all! Bleurgh!

I went on my Honeymoon!

I went to Malaysia!

It was a Happy Happy Honeymoooon!

I got Married

I got married! Ta Da!

Fuck Me! It's been a long time since I blogged!

Sorry about this chaps but i had stuff to do!

RIP Estelle Getty

It's a sad sad day.
Actress Estelle Getty, best known as sarcastic Sicilian octogenarian Sophia Petrillo in US sitcom The Golden Girls, had died at the age of 84.
The star, who had advanced dementia, died on Tuesday morning at her Hollywood Boulevard home.

She was nominated for seven Emmy Awards for The Golden Girls and won the award in 1988 for ‘Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series’.

Getty, who played the oldest of the ‘Golden Girls,’ was actually the second youngest. Bea Arthur (her daughter on the show) is 86 as is former co-star Betty White. Rue McClanahan who played Blanche was the youngest of the four. McClanahan is currently 74-years old.

Sophia was Dorothy’s mom on the show and lived with her, Rose and Blanche in their Miami home. Sophie often called her daughter “Pussycat” and enjoyed poking fun at Blanche’s sex life.

It was one of my Fav shows.

Ugly Bag for YOU!

“This ugly bag is guaranteed to cure ugliness,” the bag reads.

“Directions: Open bag and place over head of ugly person with face side facing forward. Instantly creates beauty where there is none.

“Note: For extra ugly persons, two bags may be necessary in case one breaks.”

The Genuine Ugly Bag in the “Heavy Duty for Extra Ugliness” variety, has a sketch of a woman on it, with petite facial features and a retro winged haircut.

Fridgy Midgy

Don't you hate it when you buy a can of Irn-Bru and it goes warm? Well Here's a super duper mini-fridge made just to fit a 350ml canned drink inside—it's powered by USB, so you can keep it right next to your computer and it'll keep your beverage cold and refreshing throughout the work day. I love it.

I actually might buy this!

Sorry Dudes

Sorry dudes, I've been so lax at the mo but got shit loads on at the mo!

Best Thing Ever!

This truly would be the best thing to ever have at a party!

This 8-lane set up, which you can rent not buy, gives a good idea of what is possible with their track parts.
This thing has beer-fueled parties (full of abundant bromance) written all over it.

For all you Wankers!

Handz Off Anti-Masturbatory Cream: Side Effects Include Blindness

If anti-masturbatory gum hasn’t done the trick for you, try a more direct approach with this Handz Off Cream. This special blend of coconut, buttermilk and vanilla bean will leave your junk silky smooth and it will fight your urges for up to 6 hours. Apply liberally and vigorously to affected areas.
Warning: Do not use handz off anti-masturbatory cream more than ten times per day.Side effects may include hairy palms and blindness. Should abnormal swelling occur, consult a hooker.

Because waiting for the bus should be fun!

Talking Shit or doing a Shit?

Have you ever seen a real Shit Box? I’m not using the term as an adjective for the cardboard, I’m just relaying the Product name. The portable toilet is for those moments when you get the urge for number two on the road, but don’t have access to a proper toilet and many a time that does happen!

“The box pops up from a convenient flat pack to a rigid, reusable, comfortable toilet,” the Brown Corporation describes. “Each box comes with ten degradable poo bags.”

Just like you wouldn’t leave your dog’s poop on the side of the road you shouldn’t leave a heap of your own poo either. Instead of scooping, just do your business right in the, er, stool-shaped box to avoid making a mess.

I think i will have to buy one.